Master Ninja I

Master Ninja II

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Theater Rating:

Host Segment Rating:

Indoctrinationability: Poor

Episode: Well here we have yet another Master Ninja `Movie'. What's really horrible is that I heard rumors on R.A.T.M.M. that there was to be a Master Ninja III. This episode is definitely worth watching for the pet/detective matching. Classic bit! This episode falls into the same category as Santa Claus vs The Martians. Ok episode, great host segments, terrible movie.

Movie: This is another pair of episodes from a failed series pretending to be a movie. In the first episode, a chick who is trying to tell her bosses what to do, how much to pay her and their other employees and generally being disrespectful and inconsiderate to those who were nice enough to give her a job, is helped along by a babbling Timothy Van Patten. I wonder how many sound guys they went through before they realized the problem was Tim's inability to enunciate. In the second episode Tim magically appears in the air on a handglider, happens to spot a car and somehow senses the girl is in trouble. He flies down, picks her up out of her car and carries her to safety. Then gets involved in some kidnapping and there are people in camouflage and.. Ahhhhhhh!!!!

Intro: Joel and the bots form an improve group “Anyone for more fruitcake?” they ask gypsy to call out a place, a person and a thing they can do. She gives them “Cream of wheat” for a person, Peter Gabriel as a thing to do and Anger as a place to be..

Invention Exchange: Dr. F. Invents the conveyor belt buffet, it moves so fast people cannot eat their food.

Joel invents the Gerbilsphere II, a self contained environment which unfortunately requires a 25 lb. hamster in order to turn the wheel that operates the lathe that creates the chips that encourages the gerbil to poop which fertilizes the soil in which sprouts are growing at just the right rate to keep the Gerbil nourished but not obese. They put in an air cleaner because certain undesignated elements in the atmosphere were combining and creating thunderstorms. After all that work, the gerbil dies.

Host Segments: The bots design their dream vans.

Crow is General Timothy Van Patten and gives an inspiring speech no one can understand

Tom is arguing with crow abot how a hamster is all wrong for Tim.

Crow: Well who went and made you the expert…
Tom: Well…
Joel: Actually I wrote a subroutine in his database program allowing him to match up fictional detectives with pets.
Crow: Oh what a useful bit of programming!
Joel: Well it was something to do, why don't you do it for us with today's mumbling hero, Tom?

Conclusion: Joel and the bots demonstrate how wearing a ninja outfit slims Lee Van Cleef down.

Frank gets serious and begs CBS to bring back “The second hundred years”.

Book: Paul Chaplin mentions the presence of a “Sho Kosugi” which the other writers were excited about.