Experiment #309 - The Amazing Colossal Man

The Amazing Colossal Man

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Theater Rating:

Host Segment Rating:

Indoctrinationability: Excellent

Episode: This is (again) among my favorite episodes, to this day I go around saying “Lights! Can we get some lights? Come on... Better!” as Joel did as the scientist with the angry disposition. And also “Look at him, thinks he's a big man, well watch this big hero, sure!”. Joel has an odd way with words that just seems to click for me (And obviously many others as well). This episode loses me in the last half, it has it's moments but most of them are in the beginning.

Movie: The movie itself is pretty generic. Glen Manning jumps into a plutonium bomb's blast zone and is rushed to the hospital. All his skin grows back the next day so the Army hides him till they can learn what's going on. He begins growing at a rate of 20 feet per day. His fiancee is understandably upset but decides to stand by her man. Glen goes nuts from lack of oxygen to his brain then runs away just as the doctors had figured out how to get him back to normal. So Glen goes to Las Vegas where he is gawked at by normal people who are somehow able to keep up with Glen despite his giant stride. Then he picks up his Fiancee, runs to the nearest dam where he finally puts her down and is shot at with tanks and missiles till he falls over and...???

Intro: This episode starts out with the bots hiding in a cardboard box and Joel asking them to come out to do their chores. The dialogue is pretty good...

Joel: Come on you two, quit clowning around, get out here it's time to do our chores
Crow: Never
Tom: We are not allowed to fraternize with the Hugh-man
Magic Voice: 30 Seconds to commercial sign
Joel: Oh, hi everybody, My name is Joel, welcome to the satellite of love, and my two robots Tom and Crow are currently hiding out in their super secret, chocolate fudgey cardboard batcave.
::Bots laugh::
Joel: Uh, guys this is your creator speaking, and I'd like you to come out and start cleaning the load-pan-bay if it's not too much to ask.
Crow: Ahhh, sorry, Mr. Crow and Mr. Servo are not in right now, I can get you a copy of their manifesto which clearly states: No bejumpsuited humans are allowed on the premises. Thank you!
Joel: I happen to have a manifesto here, Crow, which states you guys better get your little metal hinders out here or, there's gonna be some real trouble!
Tom: Ooooh, Grrr! So be it Joel, but we'll have you know that we are Neo-Luddites who have abandoned the wicked ways of your filthy technology!
Crow: Yeah, we even hate ourselves! Ahhh haha! Anarchy anarchy! Ahhaha ::Bashes himself against Tom Servo::
Joel: You guys, listen, you better get out here by commercial sign or there's gonna be some real trouble, that's all I have to say.
::Bots pretend they're not scared by mockingly acting like they are scared::
Magic Voice: Commercial sign in 5...4...3...2... Commercial sign now.
Joel: We'll be right back.

Invention Exchange: The Mad scientists splice a man and a plant and come up with a plant that reviews music...

Robert Plant: Beethoven's ??? Sonata, number 21 ??? 53 is a prime example of a musical genius at the top of his form and maturity. The strong sonorous chords in the first movement, the swiftly changing modulations, speed fluidly toward an exhiliratingly powerful climax of restated theme. *sigh*
Frank: I thought it had no texture.
Robert Plant: Bugger off!

Joel invents a reusable tattoo...

Tom: You see, the problem is people get tattoos when they're drunk and they end up with irrational slogans. With this tattoo you can erase those and write sensible things like grocery lists, or your girlfriends birthday.

Host Segments: Joel takes a scene from the movie where a reporter is tactlessly telling Glen Manning's fiancee the gruesome details about Glen's accident. He then asks Crow and Tom what they could say to make her feel better.

Crow: I'd say something sensitive and caring and sensitive like, uh "I understand his face looks like a hot dish at a lutheran potluck dinner. "
Tom: I'd comfort her by saying, Dear, you know the scuttlebutt around the hospital is that now he's called: The Amazing Jelly Man!
Joel: No, come on this is a hospital you guys!
Crow: Then I'd say something medical, like.. "Seeing him up close and personal gives me a better understanding of how the muscle groups work."
Tom: How about this: He'll sure come off the bone easy now!
Crow: That's it!! Mmmmm!!
Joel: Okay, okay okay, I'm sorry I brought it up, I just thought maybe you guys might have an aptitude for this, learning human sensitivity and I'm sorry, I better just take this and go.
Tom: Joel, we're very sensitive to your feelings and you're in a bad spot!
Crow: Yeah, I mean, think of it. You're stranded in space, you'll never see your family again and when the orbit on the satellite decays you'll be burnt to a crisp, but you never hear us talking about that when you're around...
Tom: That's right, we're sensitive to the reality of your sitiation. Now for instance, we know your hair only looks like that because there is no barber on the ship, right?
Crow: Yeah, and even though your feet smell like cheese, we prefer to think they smell like good cheese.
Tom: That's right, and we know that if you HAD breath mints you'd use them.
Crow: Yeah, it's not like you choose to leave a pheremone trail when you walk...
Tom: So you see, Joel, Buddy, we are sensitive, aren't we, Crow?
Crow: Very sensitive, Yes. You're very sensitive.
Tom: So are you, you're equally sensitive to me.
Crow: You cried earlier, what was that about?
Tom: Well...
::Commercial Break Music::

Favorite Lines:

Glen: There's a light civilian plane coming in at...
Joel: It's light and refreshing, no wait, it's Zesty, and I think I see cheese on the wings!

Glen's Doctor: Your name was the only word he spoke.
Tom: Well, that and "Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!"

Doctor: I wish I could give you some hope.
Joel (as doctor): I prescribe me, Dr. Chad Feelgood...

Favorite Observations:

Carol: I also know Colonel Manning is no longer in his room on the second floor, where have they taken him?
::Secretary looks through a set of cards, picks one up, looks at it::
Secretary: There's no Colonel Manning Listed here.
Joel (as secretary): Says so right on this card!

Nurse to supply room: Another unit of blood please.
Crow (as nurse): Any kind, I don't care. Tap is OK.

MST 3K Hour!

Never has a single curl defined a personality so much that of MST's beloved TV's Frank. The well meaning, hapless and none-too-bright assistant of Dr. Forrester in his den of ner-do-well, Deep 13. Hi, hi, hi and come on in for another viewing of MST. Today's cinematic feast for the eyes, is a delightful main coarse produced, directed and written by Bert I. Gordon. Called 'The Amazing Colossal Man" I must tell you, when I first heard the name Bert I. I thought, I've never heard the name Bert I. and what an unusual first name that is. I Kid. Here's saluting Bert I. Gordon. Aye-aye, Bert I.

Oh, Hello. Welcome back to the conclusion of "The Amazing Collosal Man" Not to be confused with "The Colossus" by ??? but before you feast on part 2, here's what happened in the last installment...