Online Lobster's Cove

Welcome to Online Lobster's cove!

I am the one and only Online Lobster™, I'd like to share some of my favorite things© with you®!

Late Breaking News!! Dateline 10-4-97 KTLA Predicts Lobster will start work on his webpage again after nearly 5 months of not laying a finger on it! Part of the work will hopefully involve a new interface, possibly incorporate that new fangled Dynamic HTML and hopefully some award winning concepts. Lobster was quoted as saying: "Yes, I still love MST 3K, although I must admit that love does not extend to the new season on the Sci-Fi channel. There will always be those old tapes circulating. Please don't boil me!!"

D'oh!! Ok, it's now 02-17-02 and I *still* have not updated my site... golly, it's been over 6 years since I wrote all this and I can't seem to make time for updating it... But in all fairness I have so much work to do that I can't justify spending any time on my personal website... but because it is important to me from time to time I steal away and do a bit of work. Here's a quick test I started of a site that incorporates some of the new technology I've learned... you need at least IE 5.5 to view it.

I've observed that while I'm very technically skilled I seldom apply that skill to my personal life so I hope to use my skills to ensure SOME work will be done on this website on a regular basis. You'll notice in the above referenced test that the "water" is the same color as this background, it's the same image base but I'm heading into 3D. I want to rebuild this front page but using 3D effects, the mouse movement will cause ripples in the water, the images will be 3D blocks "floating" in the water and moving with the waves sinking and rising below the surface. So far the biggest problem I have is the amount of system resources necessary for the new site, my 1.5Ghz P4 with 512Megs of RAM and a GeForce2 Ultra has trouble rendering much more than just the background. As usual, I am way ahead of my time!

Mystery Science Theater 3000

Hands down, no bullcrud this has got to be the best television show I've ever come across! I really love this show, as evidenced by my 100+ page shrine to Best Brains, the Makers of MST 3K. Follow this link to the neatest little fantasy world ever created for television! You will find lengthy reviews of every episode I have seen, with excerpts, pictures, dialogue and just about anything else I can think of. There are short biographies of the actors, writers, creators and puppeteers of MST 3K. You'll find information on where to find MST 3K merchandise, schedules, fan club info, Newsgroups, E-mail addresses. An online Episode guide with cross referencing on host segments, invention exchanges, cameo appearances as other characters and a short bio on these. Basically, I have no life so I can sit here and type these pages up all day. If you find them useful let me know. If not then Please don't boil me!!

I'm also pretty big on Science Fiction (Surprise!) ST:TNG was a pretty good show, X-Files is too. In addition to these universally popular shows you'll find pages on my favorite movies, but again, they're nowhere near as good as MST 3K so if you find more than 5 pages on any other one subject, It is not out of love or devotion to the shows but rather an experiment to see how many web pages I can create before I go over my allotted 5 megs. There may even be some hidden naughty pictures of those neat ST:TNG chicks! I'm not saying! :9 (Ok, hint: Sandra Bullock is not a Star Trek chick but she's still popular among net-geeks. I wonder why...) There's only one way to find out.. follow the Sci-Fi link!

Web Surfing! Sure, it's fun for the first couple of months, then you run out of interesting places to go, you've explored all the immediate links, gone back and exhausted all the links in your bookmarks and you're left lonely and heartbroken with a clear impression that there are no more cool sites to visit. Well fear not! This intellectual pragmatic existentialist of a crustacean has compiled a list of amazing and amusing links, some are just plain weird, others make you want to turn all your lights off, grab a blunt weapon and sit huddled in the corner of your room for hours.

"All right", you say, "amazing and amusing links are great, the MST 3K section is a hoot! But I still feel empty inside, I need a little more from the internet than a great time, I want to walk away with something tangible!" Well, how about some games? The latest greatest games available with texture mapped polygons and who knows what all? Why I bet if you follow some of these links, you'll find all sorts of networkable games, modem games and tons of other games. If games don't excite you, fear not! there are also links to utilities, shareware, things that make your computer more productive than you ever thought possible! Hardware drivers, software patches, Winsock applications, Graphics editors, Web browsers and more!

Woo Hoo! You're feeling REALLY good now, you want to learn more about this enigmatic, affectionate crustacean who has brought you all these goodies from cyberspace! What makes lobster tick? Well, I'm not Tick. However, like one of the more obscure characters on The Tick... well... listen. But to learn more about me follow my fishy friend up there, he'll take you to a good place. You will also find pages not listed or accessible through any of the above links, pages devoted to my heros and loves and a whole bunch of other stuff!