While playing trumpet in the Jr.High stage band I was sitting next to the drummers section.I asked one of the drummers if I could try his drum sticks.I picked them up and something came over me.I had come face to face with my destiny.I felt like I had held those sticks all of my life.I can't really explain it but GOD knew that those sticks were going to lead me on a journey that would take me all over the world and eventually lead me to an encounter with our LORD JESUS CHRIST

I went that night and bought a set of sticks(Gene Krupa 7a's)and started playing along

with my favorite records.I didn't have any drums so at first I practiced on anything that made noise(mostly the furniture in my room)and eventually built a drum set out of house hold items.For a snare drum I laid a screen from my window over a news paper.For a base drum I laid a 5 gallon ice cream carton on it's side and built a pedal out of wood.For tom toms I used different sized coffee cans.For cymbals I hung a 45rpm record holder from the over head lamp in my room.Looking back now it amazes me how I was driven to play drums.It came to me so easy,that I thought anybody could play(When GOD gives you a gift it's hard to realize that not everybody else has the same gift).I practiced before school, after school,all week end,and any spare time that I had.My parents realized that I was very serious about drums so they helped me get a real drum set.Wow,I was in heaven!!

This all took place in the sixties and little did I know that there was about to be a musical and political revolution in The U.S.A.The Beatles came on to the scene like a storm and swept me away.Every album got more creative,more exspierimental.Then came Jimmy Hendrix.Wo!!

We had never heard anything like it.But along with the new music came a very sneaky and sinister plan of old lucifer.Drugs!!!Jimmy sang songs like"Purple Haze(lL.S.D.)run through my brain"and"Have you ever been exspierienced".Well I thought if that's how Jimmy got that creative that I'd better get experienced myself.By now I had a band together(The Scoocumchuck over pass)and we all found some majiana and gave it a try.In those days it wasn't very strong and didn't do anything for us.So a friend of mine found us some acid(L.S.D.)

and that definitely worked.We had what we thought was a total enlightenment exspierience.

That was a move that would eventually lead me into the dark pits of Drug Addiction.

My first band broke up and I formed another band that was on a much higher level of talent.We got good fast and started making an impact on my small little town and so we took it to the big city,to see what was out there.We were now writing our own music and for those days it was pretty good.The next thing we knew we were getting approached by major labels trying to sign us.We didn't like the deal they were offering(50%)so we passed.We thought we could do better.Looking back now it was a great offer.We went on a small tour with a national act called"Quicksilver Messenger Sevice"which lead us to Sanfrancisco.That was the Mecca of the music industry in the late Sixties and early seventees.We started opening for bands at the now legendary Fillmore West.I thought I had arrived at the big time.We put out a record and tried to get it on the radio.That's when we discovered the politics of the industry.They wouldn't play it without a major label behind it and it fissled.All of this time the we were using more drugs.We always got high before we went on stage.The drugs now had progressed to hard drugs.I remember starting to bury good friends who had over dosed.The devils plan was starting to work.Two of the members of that band got hopelessly addicted to heroin.It was the beginning of the end for that band.I some how avoided getting strung out,but I was playing a deadly game with my life.The band broke up.

By now I was getting pretty well known in the Northwest as a top drummer.I started being a

drummer for hire in the studio and many bands.Drugs were now ramped in the industry.Everybody I played with used.I started traveling around the U.S.with a new band I had formed.We spent four years on the road.The years were going by faster now and the drugs were starting to affect my playing,my home life,and my self esteem.The devil loves to make you feel like you're not worth GOD'S love.

In 1979 the band I was in ended up living in Florida.One day I was taking my 5 year old son

Jesse to the park to play.It was very hot and I was driving our band truck which had no windows.I had the door open to keep us cool(it was a step van and had a door like a bus door).While going around a corner I looked down to where my son had been sitting next to me and he wasn't there.He had fallen out the door at 40 miles an hour.I pulled over and ran back to where he was laying on the road(he hit the ground so hard that it knocked his high topped shoes right off his feet.When I got to him he was having a seizure from the impact on his head.he was dying right before my eyes.There is no worse feeling on this earth then when your children are near death.(even the pits of drug addictions pain is nothing compared to this pain).There are no words to tell you the terror,pain,and fear that I was in for.I picked him up off the road and said to him"hang on Jesse,daddys doing to get you help.I made a frantic drive to find the nearest hospital.I was new to Ft. Lauderdale and didn't know my way around,but some how(GOD) I found a hospital.The people at the hospital were so slow and my son was dying that I said to the orderly"you've got to help my son NOW"They seemed to not even care so I told one of them to help me get my son in the car, I'm going to take my son to another hospital where they will get to him.He started to argue with me and I told him"if you don't pick up the other end of this stretcher right now you're going to need a hospital".I must have terrified him because he picked up that stretcher with my son in it and helped me get it to our truck.Somehow I found another hospital and they saw how injured my son was and they got right to work getting to

him.He was now convulsing and it was out of my hands(and into the LORDS)

He had hit his head so hard that his brain had swollen.If it swelled much more it may kill him.They told me to prepare myself for the worst.Jesse slipped onto a coma on the edge of death and stayed there for days(I can't remember how many.It's just another blur to me now).

I can't tell you how low into the depths of depression I sunk.I think if he'd have died I may have offed myself(the devil was saying to me"well you've killed your son.You're a worm of a person)

All of this time I still had to go to work and play music at night.I don't know how I did it.

Working with me at that time was a man we called Pepper.He was an incredible entertainer and musian.He was also a born again spirit filled Christian.I remember my mom telling me that when more then 1 person got together and prayed all the angels in Heaven listened.I asked Pepper if that was true why don't we lead the whole audience(around 400 people)in prayer at the show that night.He said he would love to do that and that he would lead the prayer.Now this is not something you want to do in clubs and keep on working there,but GOD is bigger then those club owners.

So the show started and we played a few songs and then Pepper stopped the show and told the people my story and asked them if they would be willing to give a moment of silent prayer for Jesse.To my amazement they were totally for it.So the room got dead silent for one reverent

moment,except for the constant ringing of the telephone over at the bar.I got so angry at that ringing because I thought it might interrupt the power of this prayer.I was deperate,and didn't want anything to stand in the way of this prayer maybe working.I had no where else to turn,but to GOD!The prayer ended and we fished the set and took a break.I was sitting over at the bar(drinking water)when the cocktail waitress came up to me with a huge smile and said"have you heard?Do you know who that phone call was?That was the hospital calling to say that Jesse woke up suddenly and said I'm hungry."I'll never forget how wonderful those words sounded.

He was healed during that prayer and that phone call to me was GOD calling to say"I'm real"WOW!! That night I went back stage and accepted JESUS as my SAVIOR.

Jesse left the hospital the following day to the amazement of all the doctors and the staff.

Now I wish I could say that I got off drugs and everything was wonderful from then on.But I can't.I ended up back on drugs and my life just went on the way it had been going.I still didn't know any other way.But I now had a renewed faith in JESUS.

In 1980 I decided to get off the road and try to start a some what normal life but no matter where I turned there always seemed to be drugs around.I didn't hang around any body who didn't use.By now there was a lot of cocaine around and that seemed to be the drug of choice with all my musician brothers.The use of cocaine gets you too wired to play music so to balance out the high,enter, alcohol.I knew deep inside of me there was something missing in my life.A hole in me that could not be filled by drugs or alcohol.I knew that some thing had to change,but I just couldn't find my way out.I had been in that life style so long that I didn't know any other way.I couldn't amagine going on stage and trying to play creatively without at least smoking a little pot.All through the 80's I struggled with this.Word got out that my playing was really hurting because of my abuse,and it was.I knew it.

In the 90's the devil sent a new old weapon at me and a lot of my fellow musicians.Herion

was back on the scene.And this time I finally got strung out.Life became a living hell trying to keep up with that addiction.There was never enough.My life became consumed by trying to find more ways to support my habit.The circle that I had to travel in to get cheeva(means to horned beast,HELLO)was pure evil on the earth.I saw people beg borrow and steal to get there next fix.Everybody was carrying weapons(if they didn't pawn them.)Nobody trusted anybody.It was a nightmare,but I was living it.But what the devil didn't know was this was what was going to drive me to my knees and turn to the one true SAVIOR.JESUS CHRIST!!

As far as my religious back ground.I grew up in a Christian home.My mother and father had great faith.The rule at their house was"you didn't have to go to church every SUNDAY,but if you decided you didn't want to go,MOVE".So that settled that issue.I was in church almost every SUNDAY of my life at my parents house.When I moved out at 18,that would be the last time I went to church(except for weddings and funerals)for over 20 years.But the seeds of CHRIST had been planted.The BIBLE says "train up a child in the way he should go,and when he is old he shall not depart from it".The BIBLE doesn't lie!

In1994 I was out of control.Addiction had over come me and the enemy started putting bad thoughts in my head.I thought"it's all over for you Kurt.you've shot your best shot and you came up short.You're never going to amount to anything more then a bar musician, slowly dying".

I thought I was a bad husband,a bad father,and that my talent was slowly eroding away.Maybe everybody would be better off if I just ended this whole thing now.GOD had me where he wanted me.Humbled!No where left to turn to but HIM.So in the middle of my depression I started praying for the first time in a long time.I only remembered one prayer and that was the LORDS PRAYER.So every night I would say that prayer,and I meant it.I added to the prayer my cry for help."LORD thank you for all the blessings in my life,and could please help me get out of this mess".I prayed that faithfully for three months.Then one day out of the blue sky an old friend of mine that I hadn't seen in years showed up on my front door.He said he was driving down the freeway heading for Seattle when his stirring wheel tuned itself off on to the exit that goes to my house,and that he had this incredible urge to see me(Thankyou LORD).He didn't know why.

This is a person that was there when I fist started getting high.He had been clean and sober for 8 years.So there he was on my doorstep.I said "wow, what brings you here?"He said"He felt compelled to come and see me"and "is there something you'd like to talk to me about?"We took a ride in his car and I told him I was in bad shape.I was actually going through withdrawals when he showed up.He asked me if I wanted to get off drugs for good."Forever" I said."Well then let's do it"he said.He even drove me down to get my last fix and said "you'll never have to do this again".Turns out he was now a drug counselor and had access to prescription med.that could help me kick.

So started my journey to rcovery.Everyday I would drive 50 miles down to his house and he'd give just enough meds to get me through the day.He new not to give me more or I'd abuse them.Each day he gave me a little less which kept me in a state of minor withdrawl.He didn't give me enough to get high on,but just enough to help ease the pain of withdrawl.Weeks went by and now I was down to just a few pills a day.Then one day he didn't answer the phone.He knew it was time to go cold turkey.The next three days were some if not the worst days of my life.I couldn't sleep,I didn't know how to shut my body down without putting something in it to get to sleep.For 3 days I didn't sleep except for a few minuets at a time,purely out of exaustion.

finaly on the forth day I got maybe 4 hour of sleep.When I woke up something in me was terribly wrong(the demons new there time was up and they were going to give it one more try).I was in a rage of anger for no apparent reason.My mind was running a movie of all those wasted years.The anger that came to the surface was incredible.I lost control of myelf.At the same time I had my 2 year old boy with me

and I knew I couldn't take care of him with this rage burning in me.I called my wife at work and said "I'm bringing kasey down to your work because something is wrong with me and I feel pure evil".I brought him to her work and said to her"I don't know when I'll see you again because I can't be around anybody right now feeling as angry as I feel.I'll call you if I get better.

I left her standing there holding Kasey and as I walked out the door of her office I literally exploded the door.(That door is a solid glass door weighing around 400 pounds)It flew clear out in the main street of down town Tacoma.That didn't even slow me down.I had put a switch blade that I used to cut my drugs with,in my pocket and I remember saying to myself"if anybody says one word about that door,I'll slit there throat".Nobody did.it was as if I was invisible(thank you GOD for you angels).I got to my car and the rest of that day is just a blur in my mind.I remember hearing police sirens going off.I don't have much memory about how i got home,but somehow I did.I destroyed all the furniture in our house and the battle inside of me raged on into the night.I had to play at the Sheraton that night.I remember telling the band to stay away from me,that I felt pure evil.Even in that state of mind I actually played pretty good that night.Then about midnight it all ended.I broke down crying trying to figure out what had happened to me that day.Every muscle in my body ached from being so tense for 16 hours,but I felt as if something had left me(those demons ran for there lives).The following day the greatest

miricle that can ever happen on this side of Heaven happened to me.

That night I went home feeling exhausted and real glad to have that day behind me.I appoligised to my wife(Praise GOD for giving me an understanding wife.I will forever be grateful for her standing beside me through that whole chapter in my life).I went to bed and for the first time since I had been a teenager I went immediately to sleep and slept all the way through the night.When I woke up the next day I was alone with myself.I felt very strange.I can't explain it except to say I felt sort nuetral.Not great not bad,but sort of a feeling of exspectation.I went to turn on the T.V.but all the shows that I used to watch looked wrong.I liked watching talk shows,but on this day I couldn't stand them.looking back now I liked to watch them to make me feel better about my problems.it seemed like somebody always had more of a horror story then I did.So I started clicking through the channels.everything on sucked.So I thought I'd flip over to the religious channel and laugh at some of those televangelists.I no more then got on that channel when the pastor who was preaching stunned me.I can only tell you that GOD was speaking to me.Every word out of the mouth of this man went straight to my heart.I don't even remember what he said but I swear I thought he had read my book.It seemed as if he was talking directly to me.Everything he said was about me and what I had been through.inside of me something started to happen.It felt like ten 1000 pounds had been lifted off of me.I felt light as a feather.And then he started to tell me about JESUS's love for me.Joy started bubbling up from deep in the pit of my spirit and I knew that this was what had been missing all of my life.

That show started at 10:30A.M. JANUARY 9th 1995 and by 11:00 A.M.I was crying my eyes out with the most incredible joy that I had ever experienced in my life.I was literally jumping for joy.JESUS was real.GOD was real.The creator of the universe had just revealed himself to me,and he still loved me.More love then I've ever felt.I would never be the same again.I called my wife and said"I am not crazy but I'm going to find this man I saw on TV and tell him what has happened to me.JESUS is real and I'm going back to church."I knew my next door neighbor was a Christian so I ran over to his house to ask him if he knew what had just happened to me.When I told him,big tears rolled down his smiling face.I couldn't believe that somebody I had hardly ever spoken to would be so happy for me that they would cry.He told me that it looked to him like I had been baptized in the HOLY SPIRIT.I didn't even know what that meant.I said"I was baptized when I was a child".He said '"this is different."I said"No kidding".I'll never forget that day to my last breath.It was the day of my SALVATION.

Well,it's been quite a walk since that day.Thje devil tried one more time with drugs and I slipped back for a minute,but shortly after that I was completely delivered from drugs(THANKYOU LORD).I maybe missed church three or four times since that day.I now music minister at 2 churches.There's nothing better then using the gift GOD gave me to praise him.

I'm playing better then ever and growing again as a musician and a person.LIFE IS GREAT!!

I now sing with boldness;

AMAZING GRACE.HOW SWEET THE SOUND

THAT SAVED A WRETCH LIKE ME.

I ONCE WAS LOST AND NOW I'M FOUND

WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE

Praise be to GOD the FATHER,SON,and HOLY GHOST

GOD bless you,

Kurtis Kolstad