The Truth Behind the Legend

The True Story of the FCT 'Bot



Welcome to a new era of Bolo playing. Gone are the carefree days of pillwars, spikes, LGMs and "skill." We are fortunate enough to be alive for a momentous transition in the evolution of Bolo: The Age of Robots.

It all started so innocently, with the introduction of Stuart's Standard Autopilot.

Then some hotshot programmer came up with Maxwell's Brain, essentially an enhanced version of SA. Later developments included Dumbot, Tonto, and a number of less well-known 'bots. Then AIndy appeared (or was it Ladmo). AIndy (or Ladmo) was the first 'bot built totally from scratch. Both AIndy and Ladmo were truly superior intelligences, without any of the stupidities inherent in good ol' SA. A single one of these new 'bots was capable of taking down teams of Standard Autopilot-driven tanks. These were thought to be the epitome of brain development.

Independent of the 'bots were the 'borgs: Brains that operated with the human pilot, rather than in place of him. These 'borgs added little niceties like radar, map overviews, LGM tactical data, wisecracks, and all the other things that make Bolo more fun. The most advanced 'borgs were late versions of Nexus and Brainwave, and Sluggo's excellent BK2K. In spite of these advances, 'borg technology still lagged behind that of the 'bots.

But now, the two have been combined (insert Emperor's theme song). The result is a piece of machinery so terrifying that the mere mention of its name is often enough to intimidate superior players into surrendering. It is the FCT 'Bot! Equipped with a wide array of weapons and abilities, the 'bot is practically unstoppable. To activate the doom devices that the 'bot allows, all one has to do is type a small command string. The effect is always impressive, even for someone who has seen it a thousand times. Depending on what string was typed, the tank can unleash anything from a machine gun turret to a squadron of fighters--no less!

Technically speaking, the FCT 'Bot is a 'borg, since the tank is under human control the whole time. However, the secret weapons are so devastating and far-reaching that they essentially operate independently of the player's control. The 'bot is the product of hours of painstaking programming by a team of experts (me and the voices in my head). Of course, it's so powerful that the author is not entirely comfortable with releasing it into the hands of the public. God, can you imagine what that would be like! Anyway, he is keeping it for himself, waiting for an appropiate time to use it outside carefully controlled test environments (his living-room). A good time to try it would be in a Bolo tourney or some IBL-like thingy. Hopefully against Tempest.

On the outside chance that it ever comes out for everyone, please, please use it responsibly. Use your newfound powers for good, not evil. Also send in your shareware fees of five (5) fat 100 (one hundred) dollar ($) bills. If you do, I'll send you a special "upgrade" kit which has not yet been developed, but I'm sure will be. If you don't, I'll send you a fake upgrade kit for the 'bot called the "I'm rubber and you're glue so whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you kit," IRAYGSWYSBOMASTYK for short. The effects of such a patch, when applied to a 'bot like this one, are readily imaginable to even the most dimwitted, or Kax-like players. (But seriously, I love Kax)


Credits